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‘I came back from the dead – there’s definitely

an afterlife’

Ray Catania was 20 when he died in a gas leak that filled his room and set fire to his parents’ home as he slept.

‘All night long, the gas was rising into my bedroom, and I was breathing it in,’ Ray, now 57, tells Metro over Zoom from his home in New York.

 ‘There was a big ball of flames, and the wall caught fire. My father put it out with a fire extinguisher,’ he remembers.

Roused by the noise of police radios and fire trucks, Ray tried to get out of bed and failed. ‘I couldn’t move my legs at all. They were completely paralysed. I couldn’t get my head off the pillow; I couldn’t yell or speak.’

He managed to pull himself with one arm and fell to the floor, smashing his head on the boards. Strangely, Ray felt no pain.

‘I didn’t feel anything because I wasn’t in that body anymore,’ he says matter-of-factly. ‘I was above it, in the corner of my room looking down. I could see my lifeless body.

‘The room was a perfect square,’ adds Ray. ‘The colours were vivid and bright, everything was more vibrant, like going from old television to high definition. I could tell you the exact sweatsuit I was wearing.

‘And I was soaking wet, because the first thing you do when you die is pee yourself

Death

Opposite him, in another corner, was The Light, he says.

 ‘It was a huge cone shaped white light, but not a light. It was everything. It was love, painlessness, peace, joy, enlightenment. It was not separate from me. I was part of it.’

An unknown being called him into the cone and Ray felt a sense of euphoria. ‘Nothing has ever felt as good as that moment, he recalls. ‘I don’t think anything ever will again until I go back to the light.’

However, as Ray approached it, he saw his father storm into the room and lift his body from the floor. ‘He was screaming for the paramedics. Distraught, in tears.’

The next thing Ray knew he was back in the house, downstairs in the living room where paramedics were resuscitating him.

‘I woke up and they were on top of me with all their tools and gadgets. But still I felt no pain.’

‘There’s definitely an afterlife’

Ray made a full recovery, but later learnt he had died again several times on the way to hospital. When he told family and friends about his out-of-body experience, they dismissed him as “crazy”.

For years, he believed them, even though the fire had not been his first brush with death – or the afterlife.

When he was 10, Ray was caught in an undertow while swimming at Wildwood beach in New Jersey. ‘I started to panic, when a being said, “calm down, swim sideways, take all the time you need”. So I did, and I later discovered it is how you get out of an undertow.’

Death

Years later, working in a New York bar, Ray escaped a shooting after a ‘mystical being’ showed him the way out of danger.

There were also other visions and experiences, which for years Ray believed to be proof of his own unravelling. It wasn’t until he met a medium in his forties, who explained how psychics see life and death, that Ray began to investigate further. He trained as a metaphysical counsellor – a practice that uses spiritual principles and intuitive practices to help people solve their problems – and has written a book about what he’s seen

‘There’s definitely an afterlife,’ he insists. ‘At the end of the day, we’re all one, we’re all part of this light.’

Ray is just one of the people who has taken part in the Afterlife Experiences Survey, which looks into near-death experiences.

‘I could see somebody trying to pump my chest’

Stella Ralfini also died when she was young. Now 78, the Londoner tells Metro her heart stopped beating for four minutes following a car accident when she was 16.

Stella had a sense of foreboding as she got into the car with her older boyfriend Mick after a party in Kent. Everyone had been drinking, it was a rainy winter night, and they had a long journey back to London. When the car hit a bollard, the door smashed open and the weight of the passenger next to Stella forced her out onto the motorway.

Death

‘I didn’t go down a tunnel. What I did see was my life flash before me, and it was very, very fast, with lots of lovely memories of me at different ages with my parents and other people. Then I was aware I was watching from above.

As Ray says: ‘At the end of the day, we’re all one, we’re all part of this light. I never try to change anyone’s belief system, but if you are feeling like there’s more to this world, or things are happening to you and you wish to understand more, I’m very open to that.’

‘In reality, we can’t actually give a definite timescale, so I always try and avoid giving any sort of number. I try to look back over time, because the changes usually carry on at that same rate, and talk about making the most of the present and the time we have here and now.’

I don’t want to know’

‘There are definitely times where people don’t want to talk about it and aren’t ready to talk about it,’ says Dr Holmes. ‘We have to try and tread very softly with these conversations, so we’re not forcing that information on people when they’re not ready for it, but trying to gently bring them to the position of understanding what’s going on.’

‘What about my family?’

Others will write cards for their loved ones to keep their memory alive, or chat to relatives about funeral plans and help them manage when they’re no longer around.

Why is this happening to me?’

Dr Perkins adds: ‘I look after the loveliest people, people that have had completely blameless lives, and these bad things happen. So much of it is just bad luck.’

‘I’m scared of what death will be like’

Dr Perkins highlights that death is an ‘unpredictable business,’ which makes it difficult to guarantee what it’ll be like for each patient.

Sometimes, people are so fearful that they delay going to a hospice, thinking palliative care is ‘all about death’.

As Dr Holmes noted, end of life care is about making the most of the time you have – even if it’s not as long as you’d hope for or expected.